Triggered: Let’s talk about weapons!

Let me preface, this blog is not political despite what you may think you are about to read based on the title.

Perhaps you clicked this blog because the title elicited a response. You may have anticipated reading a constitutional narrative about the second amendment. Sorry to disappoint, that is not where we are going.

Therapy is a “movement” that feels like it gained more traction in the 2020s, possibly in part due to social media and the effects of the pandemic. The start of the mental health “fad,” became a focus of study in the 19th century during “the Boston-based Emmanuel movement” followed by Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalysis to “mind cure” in 1920s (Samuel, Lawrence).

As we have learned through history, with the good comes the bad. Society has found ways to preserve itself by weaponizing mental health concerns and therapy. Cooper and Sweet (2024) wrote, “gendered accusations that victims are "crazy" and emotionally unstable; leveraging victims' past traumas against them, particularly that they form "bad" attachments to men; mobilizing victims' mental health diagnoses or symptoms against them to cast them as noncredible.” This concept can be seen in different ways throughout history. Between the Salem witch trials in 1692, the “insane asylums” in the 1811s, lobotomies in 1940s, and furthermore the case of U.S. Marshal Edward “Teddy” Daniels otherwise known as, Andrew Laeddis who was admitted to Shutter Island in Boston Harbor… Oh wait, that’s just the plot of Leonardo DiCaprio and Martin Scorsese’s movie, “Shutter Island.” Either way, in (legitimate) United States’ history of mental health, there have been moments of enlightenment and, weaponization to have “gain” over those who are the “less than.”

Now on to recent history of mental health, social media, and being a therapist. As a therapist, I often hear clinical terms from clients who have been on social media. It might start with, “so, I was doom scrolling on TikTok this weekend and…” Let’s stop right there! As valuable as SOME things can be on social media, a LOT of things are the bane of people’s (okay, it’s my) wellbeing, sanity, and mental capacity. For all things on the internet/social media, please research what you hear or read from credentialed sources or take it for what it is, a distraction! That being said, here are common terms or phrases, I have heard misused or taken out of context.

“They are gaslighting me!”

That might be true if you’re surrounded by diagnosed narcissists. Otherwise, for people without egocentric tendencies or disorders, it’s probably not the case.

The catch to being gaslit, is the person doing the action has to have INTENTION of causing harm. The “doer” in these circumstances has a history of prolonged actions with the intention to control the other person. These are not just misunderstandings, even repeat ones, that cannot be processed/discussed when all parties are calm enough to have a rational conversation about feelings and perception. Gaslighting can often be ruled out if the circumstances happen under the same duress. If you note a pattern of when you are being “gaslit,” possibly during an argument, or other high stress event, it could be the other person’s survival mode: fight, flight, freeze, fawn. I am not saying it is a “good” one. Often the motive for the “gaslighter” is to “control” rather than get out of “danger.” A person in an argument might do some of the following to preserve self or get out of “harm’s way” and could be interpreted as “gaslighting” if a further conversation does not occur to discuss intention. Dr Stephanie A Sarkis, Ph.D, wrote “11 Red Flags of Gaslighting in a Relationship” which highlight the following:

1. They tell blatant lies.

2. They deny they ever said something, even though you have proof.

3. They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition.

4. They wear you down over time.

5. Their actions do not match their words.

6. They throw in positive reinforcement to confuse you

7. They know confusion weakens people.

8. They project.

9. They try to align people against you.

10. They tell you or others that you are crazy.

11. They tell you everyone else is a liar.

Based on that criterion every child/sibling is a gaslighter! **They aren’t by the way! This is what I mean by context!!

“My Trauma /Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)”

Let’s start this one with the psychological definition/criteria of these diagnoses.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA) “Traumatic events include those caused by human behavior (e.g., rape, war, industrial accidents) as well as by nature (e.g., earthquakes) and often challenge an individual’s view of the world as a just, safe, and predictable place. Any serious physical injury, such as a widespread burn or a blow to the head.”

The Mayo Clinic defines obsessive-compulsive disorder as, “OCD obsessions are lasting and unwanted thoughts that keeping coming back or urges or images that are intrusive and cause distress or anxiety…they take up a great deal of time, reduce your quality of life, and get in the way of your daily routines and responsibilities.”

For any diagnosis, a person would have to meet certain criteria for a given amount of time per the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). For one’s trauma, I am not minimizing the experiences you have had that caused sadness, pain, and discomfort. AND not every event in your life that has caused discomfort is trauma. It can be an event where you are not happy with the outcome.

A key factor for the diagnosis of OCD is, “unwanted thoughts that keep coming back” and impact the quality of life because they often are opposing with your own value system. This is different from intrusive thoughts that are often dismissed or ignored without “repercussion” to the longevity of your life.

“She’s so bipolar/borderline” / “He’s narcissistic”

This point can be tied to the previous two. From a data review conducted by National Institute of Mental Health in 2001-2003, (I know a bit dated), found that adults 18 and older, a prevalence of 9.1% had a personality disorder and 1.4% was borderline. Those numbers are not supporting that every person who has a “character flaw” has a personality disorder! They could have TRAITS of one… and that does not mean they meet the criteria for a full diagnosis. Circle back up to our friends Cooper and Sweet, “gendered accusations that victims are "crazy" and emotionally unstable; leveraging victims' past traumas against them…” Just because people have a different presentation, values or cause an environment that leads to discomfort, does not automatically make them the “bad guy.” Also, just a fun fact – bipolar and borderline are vastly different diagnoses. Bipolar is a chemical imbalance and borderline is a personality disorder and the only similarity between the two is the “ups and downs.”

“I’m triggered/ respect my boundaries”

Okay, this one is not necessarily “misused” so much as “overused” for a means of control. This little two-word phrase has stopped many conversations in its tracks. A phrase that was utilized by people who had been diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) has become a part of the “meme” culture. People use it to get out of discomfort. When “regular” people hear “I’m triggered” it tends to stop the conversation. People try to respect those “boundaries” that someone is having emotional distress and then stop the conversation so neither party feels discomfort. Yet, how often does that conversation continue so there is closure? Rather, it tends to stay a wound that we keep wide open just to keep compounding on the same spot at different times. No different than “respect my boundaries” which also is a means of controlling a situation, there needs to be a follow up. Those are not complete thoughts! “I’m triggered…” to feel, think, respond, etc. Perfect! That is effective communication! Same with “respect my boundaries…” of not wanting to discuss this topic now. We can talk when I have calmed down so I can be more mindful/present/less angry about what I am saying/doing.

What now?

You now have this (potentially) new information/perspective to consider. So now what? How can you use the information you learned to be more cognizant of how we weaponize mental health, therapy, and pop culture to have more control or further gain? The answer is straightforward. Communicate more effectively and consider the whole story. Approach conversations as though they are a mini movie/T.V. script, the type that we go back to are ones that are complete without plot holes and are coherent. Now that you have this new information or perspective, go out there and “write” a movie that you’re proud of being a part of!

Resources

American Psychological Association. (2018, April 19). “Trauma.” https://dictionary.apa.org/trauma?_gl=1*1hc305n*_gcl_au*OTYzNTkyMjUwLjE3NzU0OTEzOTk.*_ga*OTQwNDcxNjI0LjE3NzU0OTEzOTk.*_ga_SZXLGDJGNB*czE3NzU2NTQ0NDQkbzUkZzEkdDE3NzU2NTQ1MDAkajIzJGwwJGgw

Cooper CE, Sweet PL. "Daddy Issues" and Diagnoses: Gendered Weaponization of Mental Health in Intimate Relationships. Violence Against Women. 2025 Nov;31(14):3657-3677. doi: 10.1177/10778012241277894. Epub 2024 Sep 2. PMID: 39223964.

Mayo Clinic. (2023, December 21). “Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).” https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20354432

National Institute of Mental Health. (2007, September 15). “Personality Disorders.” https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/personality-disorders

Samuel, L. (2025, December 10). The Roots of Therapy in America. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/psychology-yesterday/202512/the-roots-of-therapy-in-america#:~:text=Therapy%20is%20a%20modern%20and,half%20of%20the%2020th%20century.

Sarkis, S. (2017, January 22). 11 Red Flags of Gaslighting in a relationship. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-red-flags-of-gaslighting-in-a-relationship

Scorsese, M. (Director). (2010). Shutter Island [film]. Phoenix Pictures.