Why Am I Doing That?: Core Beliefs Utilizing Thought Diffusion

Why are you doing that? Such an unpleasant question when asked, however most of the time to look deeper within ourselves, we sometimes need to hear it from an outside perspective to really question, realize, and reflect on ‘Why am I doing that’ to challenge problematic behaviors. What we do, how we behave, how we perceive the world around us and our place within it, stems from our Core Beliefs. Our Core Beliefs are influenced by the experiences we have gone through in life primarily from our younger years when we are the most vulnerable.

I like to think of our Core Beliefs as a puzzle, not a stereotypical puzzle where you find the pieces that fit one another but rather create the pieces that form fit one another. Once that is molded, we move forward in life looking for similar pieces that ‘fit’ with our puzzle.

Just to review: Molding represents what we interpret from the unique experiences we go through, Pieces are the formed beliefs, and the Puzzle represents our Core Beliefs as a whole that we establish and carry in life. As aforementioned we look for similar pieces that ‘Fit’. This fit means we subconsciously or consciously search and accept experiences and/or individuals that either share the same beliefs or give us the same feelings we find comfortable. We can be accepting of feelings and situations that range from good to bad depending on our life experiences.

An example, an unhealthy core belief is believing one is not good enough and deserves less than others. For instances,patterns that could have molded this type of core belief are not having basic needs met by caregivers from a young age, abandonment/neglect, being bullied in childhood, being looked over, etc. Enduring these types of experiences repetitively can negatively impact one self-esteem, it can formulate a belief of worthlessness that can catapult oneself into behaviors of people pleasing, risky behavior, and co-dependency to either compensate or offset the core belief of not being good enough from adolescents into adulthood.

To clarify, not all Core Beliefs are negative nor stem from negative experiences. An example of a healthy core belief is the inverse experience of the negative one mentioned above, this is when one holds themselves in high regards and has healthy morals and boundaries. This can be established through support, positive reinforcement, and healthy attention and role modeling. This can result in confidence and healthy relationships with others as well as with themselves.

Now, by having unhealthy Core Beliefs and a less-than-ideal childhood experiences does not doom you to a lifetime of negatively and pessimism. Unhealthy Core Beliefs, once brought into awareness, can be challenged and reshaped with the help of psychotherapy and it’s various approaches. One approach I enjoy using for challenging Core Beliefs is Thought Diffusion, which is a core component of Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) that encourages psychological flexibility.

Thought Diffusion is the act of taking the negative automatic thought that is causing distress and separating it from the Experiencer. The purpose of Thought Diffusion is to create distance between the emotion and the thought itself, metaphorically turning the thought into background noise verses the main event. We acknowledge that the thought is still there, however you are allowed to go about your business focusing on more prevalent things. When working with Thought Diffusion, we take a step outside of ourselves and see our thoughts for what they are verses what about them we cling to personally. The most commonly used Thought Diffusion technique is ‘Thoughts on a Log,’ where Experiencer is encouraged to imagine a river with logs floating by, and with every passing log, on it is a distressing thought and the Experiencer visualizes and watches it float in and then away from their consciousness.

Other techniques for Thought Diffusion are ‘Masuda milk method’ which is the practice of exploring the distressing thought and reducing it to a simple word, rapidly repeating it aloud for 45 seconds, and creating de-sensation to the emotional significant of the word and just view it as a simple sound. And a more playful technique for Thought Diffusion is utilizing a ‘Variety of Vocalization’ such as saying the thought in a deep voice, high pitch voice, slow pace, or create a song with the distressing thought.

Thought Diffusion can be a helpful tool when challenging Core Beliefs, as it separates the deeply held thought from the Experiencer and allows space and time for the Experiencer to reflect on whether the negative thought is actually occurring or if they are manifesting it by chasing a self-fulfilling prophecy. And if the latter is the case, then ‘Why Are You Doing That?”